Literally minutes of amusement:
- Chatham-Kent’s population took a shit in the latest census
- Rio Tinto takes shit on aluminium division
- Brown tax plan takes double shit
- McDonnell’s agenda takes shit in Senate
- Fabio Capello’s pride takes a shit
- Traffic light takes a shit in the snow
- Samsung takes a shit in Apple battle
- Flacco takes a shit from teammate Reed
…etc, etc, etc.
Recent headlines, edited to be from a near-future, with drones instead of dogs…
inspired by karl james’s #catsnotcuts.
I read an interesting article in the Guardian before Christmas, called "A lack of physical symptoms makes depression harder to bear."
I thought the headline was pretty accurate, and this bit makes sense:
There is a certain luxury to indulging a bout of physical illness, quite absent from my experience of periods of depression, for instance. Lying in bed, with a mug of hot Lemsip, surrounded by tissues – and sleeping dogs – thermometer gratifyingly high, cheeks flushed for additional validation. (…) There’s something unarguable about physical illness. No need for justification. You’re ill. You need to take it easy. Nobody ever asks why you’ve got flu. Flu exists and you’ve got it. End of.
With mental health problems people want to know why. With physical illness it’s different. You’re ill. It’s not a question of choice. It’s the subjective nature of mental health problems – the lack of obvious physical symptoms, the lack of a measurable temperature – that encourages self-reproach.
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a big huge space for a user to upload a prominent photo, without futzing with their profile pic proper? definitely going to see loads of charities (and let’s face it, brands) trying to convince people to put custom images up there.
i’m sure we’ll see it for meta-campaigns too…
Read this the other day after I saw it mentioned somewhere and just loved the idea. What do the competing theories of international relations have to say about a zombie apocalypse?
"Realism posits an eventual live-and-let-live arrangement between the undead and everyone else. Liberals predict an imperfect but useful counter-zombie regime. Neoconservatives believe that an aggressive and thorough military deployment would keep the undead menace at bay. Some constructivists would predict a robust pluralistic security community dedicated to preventing new zombie outbreaks and socializing existing zombies into human society.
However, bureaucratic dysfunction could trigger a total collapse in state authority. Public opinion and interest group pressure could make multilateral cooperation more difficult. And a norm cascade could trigger a world in which the biological distinctions between humans and zombies would be immaterial - everyone would act like zombies.”
You can read a blog-sized version of it here.
I made this Godspeed You! Black President streaming ambient apocalyptic audio thing. Here are a few notes on it.
Back during the 2008 U.S. election, which I followed obsessively, there was a fellow user of the Something Awful politics forum called “Godspeed You! Black President.” I thought this was a good pun (basically all my ideas are just puns) and put it in my ever-expanding list of “things that could be things.”
With such rich, apocalyptic vocals (“I opened up my wallet / and it was full of blood” - mmm, financial-crisisy!) it was instantly obvious what sort-of-thing the pun should be made into.
Then I promptly forgot about it for two years or so, until You Are Listening To Los Angeles came along, mashing up ambient music with radio chatter. And I was like “right, I should probably get on with making this thing.” Actually I had this other item in my bucket list:
So I became seized with terror that every single idea I’d ever written down but failed to make was about to created by other people. A motivating thought! (Actually I’d never really thought about police radio scanners, and thought I’d have to write and record all these crackly radio reports; and then the conspiracy/ARG fan in me thought they might subtly imply this unfolding mystery and you’d sort of have to wait around to hear another clue through the static and so on and so forth and so obviously it was never gonna get done.) Also Leila Johnston had been writing a lot about making things really quickly, which helped things along.
Anyway about 7pm I sat down to do it, this is how I did it:
The current beta version of Audacity (3.1.3) lets you batch process MP3 files. I used the first 14-odd MP3s from Barack Obama’s Dreams from My Father’s audio book. Just set up a “chain” (I did “slow down” + “pitch down” + “save as MP3”, easy) and drag in the files. It spits out a folder of transformed MP3s. Nice!
In Garageband I cut out a few bits from the GY!BE album: the bits with vocals, the noisy train-station stuff, the long bits of silence between tracks, the happy-sounding bit at the end of Dead Flag Blues. Saved everything that was left to a different folder.
Then I had to make them play in a browser. I used JWplayer - you just put some files in your home directory and then you can use a plain old <embed> tag. To get the player to play a playlist of MP3s, you need a playlist file. I made one by dragging all the related files into VLC, then doing “Save Playlist…” which lets you create an XSPF file. Then I edited the XSPF files in TextEdit to change the file location of each MP3 from a local one (e.g: Users/Guy Parsons/Desktop/GYBP/BO/1.mp3) to their future internet location. (e.g: http://www.vexappeal.com/godspeedyoublackpresident/BO/1.mp3)
I got so frustrated trying to make a <div> appear in the bottom-right-hand corner of the page I gave up, kicked it old-skool, and used a <table>. (That’s just a little trick I picked up back in 2002, ain’t no thang.)
And that’s about all there was to it - 7am the next morning, I hit publish. (The night time is really the only time to work, isn’t it?)
Kirsty & Phil’s next spin-off?